The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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