They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
