Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
