I will die if light touches me.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
