You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
