I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize