i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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