Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
