I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
