No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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