Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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