So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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