Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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