some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
