The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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