This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
