You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize