this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
