Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
