don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
