if you like me you must not know who I am
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
