Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
