the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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