He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize