omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
