Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
