I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
