Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.

(1-804): View more from Virginia

U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha

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(714): View more from California

I would go down on you faster than GM stock

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(818): View more from California

I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.

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(256): View more from Alabama

he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.

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(469): View more from Texas

Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.

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(248): View more from Michigan

This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.

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(954): View more from Florida

Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.

(1-954): View more from Florida

Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.

(954): View more from Florida

I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?

(1-954): View more from Florida

A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.

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