Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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