There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I want her autograph on my taint
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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