just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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