I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
