he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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