The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
birth control should be required to get into college
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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