Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize