Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
