Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
