I skipped work to stalk him.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize