I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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