So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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