Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
