..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
