Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
