this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
