So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
