it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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