I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My balls are so social today.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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