i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
