so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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