i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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