I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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