I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
