Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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