shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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