Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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