Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I checked into jail on foursquare
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
