I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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