belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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