some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
