put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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