She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
