I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
