If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize