something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
